August 02, 2019
Ethel Yap is an NUS alumni (FASS) and former member of NUS JAzz Band who has gone on to a successful career in Singapore’s theatre industry. Here’s her story.
When I first enrolled into NUS Arts I had every intention of majoring in English Literature, as I had plans to become a literature teacher after graduation. I did, however, still have an interest in learning more about theatre as I was in Drama Club in JC, and hence also took some Theatre Studies modules in my first year. I discovered that I actually enjoyed my theatre modules much more than my literature ones, and found myself gravitating towards theatre more and more. That, along with starting an amateur theatre group with some friends in my first two years of university helped me decide on pursuing theatre seriously, both as an academic major and as a career.
One thing I loved was that there were lots of great opportunities to engage with the arts in NUS – there was the annual NUS Arts Festival with an exciting line up of programmes to look forward to, I spent a bit of time singing in the NUS Jazz Band, and as a Theatre Studies major, we were always hearing about shows and various theatre projects from our professors and being encouraged to attend and participate.
I also really enjoyed the fact that I was in full control of what I was learning in NUS. By that, I mean that I could choose which modules I wanted to take, the topics that I wanted to research and which academic lines of enquiry I wanted to pursue for my thesis, instead of being force-fed a diet of subjects I knew I had absolutely no aptitude for (which pretty much sums up my academic life from Primary 1 to Junior College). I thoroughly enjoyed the freedom of finally being able to zero-in on exactly what I knew I was good at and interested in, and for the first time, truly experienced the joy of learning. I discovered that I actually had a voracious appetite for learning and discovery when I could draw cross-disciplinary threads across the various things I was learning about – between theatre, history, culture, politics, art, education and so on. Suddenly, many things about the world which previously confused or bored me started to make a lot more sense. It was thrilling to finally experience the excitement of learning.
As a theatre professional, as much as I have loved what I do from the start, finding one’s feet in an industry where almost everyone is a freelancer can be quite a scary thing for a young grad. It was certainly a challenge for me to find a balance between being an ambitious go-getter and not burning out. As a freelancer, it may be the case that the sky’s the limit in terms of how many jobs you want to gun for, but you also need to know that everyone’s ability to handle workload and stress is also different, and so comparing yourself to others in that regard might only serve to discourage you. Over the years, I’ve learned to find a level and a pace that works for me, but I’ve only been able to gauge that through trial and error and having a keen level of self-awareness as to what I can and cannot take. Also, I’ve had to struggle to find my identity and sense of self-worth that does not come from other people’s validation of me. As an artist and performer, that can be very difficult, but I believe that it’s vitally important to have a healthy sense of self-worth that’s not reliant on your work in order to have longevity in this industry.
